By Enigheni Iwori
In my article of August 22nd, 2025, titled “The Art of Forgiveness”, I opined that though forgiveness might not be instant, however it should be done regardless of whether or not the offender deserves it.
But after forgiveness, what next? The natural step would be to move on, but many would agree that it is quite a difficult thing to do. Moving on involves seeking peace, getting closure and looking forward without being held back by the past. If you want to move forward but do not know how, here are some tips that can help:
• Acceptance – you do not need to tweak the details or paint a picture that exonerates you or the role you played. Acknowledge what happened and see it for what it truly is. Was it your fault? Or theirs? Any possible external factors?
• Refocus – you have expressed your emotions, now what did you learn from the experience? Yes, you felt cheated by the client, but now you know how to negotiate business terms properly to prevent recurrence. Shifting your focus helps you grow.
• Speak up – engage in honest conversations with family and friends. When you share your experiences, you get fresh perspectives and help others to learn so they can avoid pitfalls. This also allows you to offload any emotional burden that might be weighing you down.
• Heal – you want to get to that point where you can remember what happened and not feel triggered. This step is very crucial as it ensures you are not always in trauma response mode or constantly using a past event to judge others. Occasionally you might slip, but do not give up, healing is a continuous process.
• Create – come up with ways to appreciate yourself whenever you stick to the boundaries and principles you have set. Treat yourself kindly and record your progress.
Moving on can be tricky because of anger or guilt that you feel, but it is a necessary step to regain your emotional freedom.
Movies of the Week
• Alpha (YouTube): an armed robbery gang leader turned pastor confronts his past and fears as the victim of his last mission fifteen years ago is out to seek revenge. The movie explores themes of forgiveness, anger, guilt and redemption.
• The Other Woman 1 and 2 (YouTube): a marriage on the brink of collapse due to infidelity, lack of communication and understanding but maybe there is still hope. Starring Shaffy Bello, Uche Montana and Williams Benson, this movie highlights the need for intentionality by both parties in a relationship.
See you next week.
_*Enigheni can be reached via email: ienigheni@gmail.com_
