By Enigheni Iwori
You do not have their phone password. Red flag!
Yet to meet their family, friends and colleagues including church members. Red flag!
What do you mean he/she corrects you? That is control. Red flag!
The list of red flags is endless such that when you even see green flags you miss them or worse still, think it is blue. Do not worry. Let us pedal back and see some green flags you have missed.
· Clarity of Intention: They mean what they say and say what they mean. You are not up at 2am figuring out if you are in a relationship, “testing the waters” phase or a triangle.
· Conflict Management: No feeling small because you made a mistake or talking down to you. For them, respect is static not based on emotions.
· Peace Abiding: Love should not feel like a battle every other day. Important information is shared without you going on a treasure hunt to find it.
· Cheerful Giving: No matter how small, they give you something and no it is not because they gave you a black eye last night. No counting or weaponizing their good deeds for you either.
· Present in Spirit, Soul and Body: You can count on them to be there for you. No ghost mode, hibernation or vanishing just presence – assured and felt.
· Safe Space: You do not have to perform for them. You can be yourself around them without being anxious or nervous because they love you just as you are.
· Communication: Respectful, clear and direct. They let you know how they feel per time so there is no room for silent treatment, malice or resentment when there is an issue.
· Support for You: They hold your hands and cheer you on as you smash your goals. No downplaying your efforts or trivializing your wins. It is not a competition please.
Give yourself a thumbs up if you practice these and more!
Happy Valentine!
Movie of the Week
For this week, by all means binge watch Bridgeton on Netflix. You will end up speaking in proper Victorian era British accent, blushing endlessly, learning ball dances and addicted to ton gossip. You might even tear up a little – but it will be because love is beautiful.
See you next week.
*Enigheni can be contacted via ienigheni@gmail.com
