By Enigheni Iwori
One of the common causes of conflicts in relationships – whether romantic, familial, workplace or friendships – many will agree, is lack of communication. However, I can tell you it is lack of listening. While communication is said to be incomplete without feedback, most people focus more on speaking and expressing their minds with little attention been paid to listening. Although a few people try to listen but only because they want to put up a defense.
Listening is the active process of understanding and responding to spoken or unspoken messages. It is a skill that is central to maintaining healthy human connections.
Beyond just hearing people out, there are other things listening does for you:
• Listening improves understanding: when you pause and really hear people, you suddenly begin to have a deeper understanding of what they have been saying. Their concerns, reservations, perspectives – all of it.
• Listening boosts empathy: you pay attention to what people say and their body language, just then their stories become relatable, and you realize that maybe a little grace does not hurt.
• Listening enables you to ask the right questions: you know what questions to ask, how to ask, when and where to ask, just because you are listening.
• Listening prevents confusion: what to do and how to go about it is clear to you, as there is no misinterpretation or assumption.
• Listening helps you to grow: you learn more about people, your environment, yourself and this helps with meaningful conversations.
Now think of some of the conversations you have had or mistakes you have made. Is there a way you could have handled it better, if only you listened?
I agree that there is a lot of noise and you want to be heard, but you must also try to pause, observe and listen to others.
See you next week.
*Enigheni can be reached via email: ienigheni@gmail.com
